I liked this! I enjoyed the build up to the more surreal ending. My biggest bit of feed back is two things. The first, I think this could of been improved with some more lingering on some of the disturbing imagery. it felt passed over a bit to quick. got to let the blade sink in slowly. the second is I felt like I was being told, rather than shown certain things. a good example is near the end, "I never experienced so much pain." I would of rather you showed me this pain. get wierd, get flowery show the reader what the protagonist is feeling rather than simply saying it. if that makes sense. I'm dog shit at organizing thoughts.
overall I really enjoyed it. especially the end, because I love goopy gross surreal stuff. Its like something out od someone's own personal silent hill.
Thanks! It was my first attempt at body horror, so definitely stumbling a bit in the dark. I appreciate you taking the time to give me some feedback, and I'm honoured that you enjoyed it!
A short horror tale that suits my kind of sensibilities.
Glad you like it.
I liked this! I enjoyed the build up to the more surreal ending. My biggest bit of feed back is two things. The first, I think this could of been improved with some more lingering on some of the disturbing imagery. it felt passed over a bit to quick. got to let the blade sink in slowly. the second is I felt like I was being told, rather than shown certain things. a good example is near the end, "I never experienced so much pain." I would of rather you showed me this pain. get wierd, get flowery show the reader what the protagonist is feeling rather than simply saying it. if that makes sense. I'm dog shit at organizing thoughts.
overall I really enjoyed it. especially the end, because I love goopy gross surreal stuff. Its like something out od someone's own personal silent hill.
good job homie!
Thanks! It was my first attempt at body horror, so definitely stumbling a bit in the dark. I appreciate you taking the time to give me some feedback, and I'm honoured that you enjoyed it!
Sometimes I think it would be cool to be popular enough to have stalker fans, but like they say, be careful what you wish for.
Terrifying.
🙏🏻
😮🙏🏻thanks!